I’ve had enough with ‘feminism’ and the feminist movement.  I’m not a victim.  I am a woman happy in her skin.

When I first started to look into ‘feminism’, I naturally thought that this began in the UK with the Suffragettes (forgive me for my ignorance), yet I found that Mary Wollstonecraft, the author of ‘A Vindication of the Rights of Woman : with Strictures on Political and Moral Subjects (1792) is the earliest works of feminist philosophy.  She brought attention to the fact that women too were human beings, deserving the same fundamental rights as men, and that treating them as mere ornaments or property undermined the moral foundations of society.   Waves of feminist activity tackled issues such as property, contracts, right to vote, then came women’s liberation (burning the bra), equal social rights, equal pay.

For all those courageous and determined women who went before me, I applaud you.  Those days are now gone. Women can now achieve the top job, in fact, women can achieve absolutely anything if they wish. Women are seen as high achievers – we have had two women Prime Ministers; we have a Queen.  A woman has established her position, her right in society.  Today, feminism or feminists will stand, quite rightly, for the oppression of women by men – whether that be by abuse or authoritative measures such as by Muslim feminists who fight for the right to and need for personal moral authority.

But has ‘feminism’ had its day or lost its way? Has ‘feminism’ gone too far?  Is it ‘feminism’ or ‘feminine activists’?

Stop playing the victim card, and earn some respect as an equal

It was the latest round of  irrelevant, puerile ‘feminine’ activity‘ that eventually broke the camel’s back.  Headlines such as changing the spelling of ‘Woman to Womxn’, so as to ‘include’ everyone; to the female Times reporter saying that Coronavirus was ‘hurting women, forcing them back into domesticity’.  Another headline seen was, ‘Coronavirus kills more men than women, but its women who are bearing the brunt of the misery while our incompetent macho leaders have consistently side-lined and ignored us.’  ‘Women are losing sleep during coronavirus because of men‘.

Have you stopped to look at what you have written or listened to what is being said?  If you continue to hound these men by calling them ‘misogynists’,  you may make them misogynistic.  Are you becoming misandrists?  No, you’re calling yourself a Victim.

I am a woman, and I therefore feel I can speak with some authority.

I’m a woman, and I’m not for sharing.

What feminists seem to be portraying today is ‘I’m a victim of men’ instead of debating and highlighting equality between sexes.   I am a woman, proud of my achievements, comfortable with my sex, happy in my skin, but now I’m made to have and feel that I’m a victim of men’s oppression.

If you want respect, then you can’t go crying at every turn.  For example, Matt Hancock asked Dr Rosina Allin-Khan to ‘watch her tone‘ in Parliament – no doubt, he took her words to be an accusation of his party being responsible for deaths over coronavirus.  Why do you turn this into sexism? Why do feminists straight away cry ‘he said that because I’m a woman’, ‘sexist’!  You’ll never earn respect nor equality if you cannot learn to play the game. Would it have made the news if it were said by a woman? Victim!

Today, feminists have lost the plot.

It would appear that a wave of feminists prioritise making feminist critique in public discourse through public domain and social media.  Concentrating on micro politics and everyday rhetoric online, they promote a ‘call-out’ culture on anything that is seen as a ‘feminist critique’ and catapult their voice into the public spotlight.  Some examples are from issues such as the twitter hashtag #MeToo campaign.  The infamous Sky interview between Peter Lloyd, journalist and Kate Smurthwaite ‘comedian and activist’, concerning the use of ‘babe’ or ‘darling’ etc., as a name for women by men.

Victim!

No-one is saying that the non consent of sexual advances of men on women; rape, should not be called out, investigated, prosecuted but did it go too far?  The #MeToo campaign failed to add, just like previous campaigns, that not all men are like this. What about men who are raped by men; or sexual advances from others, whether men or women? Women that abuse men in relationships? Were they included?  The #MeToo movement may have had a positive impact in bringing those rightly accused to justice and light, but it’s even more likely now a sign that men are unsure of how to interact with women. It’s an unintended consequence of the movement.

There are young men now too afraid to flirt or approach a girl, afraid that he would be screamed at as a ‘misogynist’  or worse, ‘rapist’.  I know of men in the work place too scared to share a joke with a female colleague or give a compliment because they wish  to avoid any chance of being accused of harassment or at worse, be accused of sexual assault or abuse for tapping her on the elbow for attention.  Men will find it hard to see you as an equal if you continue to play the Victim.  This is a very sad and disturbing outcome of your actions.

As for the retort from Peter Lloyd over Kate Smurthwaite’s disgust at men being able to call women ‘babe’ or ‘darling’ etc.  Personally, I don’t care for the description of ‘babe’;
I have been called ‘sweetheart’ many a time and ‘darling’.  Do I find this obnoxious, distasteful? No.  It’s just a word.  In fact, it’s just part of that person’s make-up, how they speak.  I take it as a term of endearment at times, not a scathing attack on my feminine state. Yet, as seen above, it is quite fair to call men ‘macho leaders’?  As for Peter Lloyd, I don’t see his comments at all as hurtful towards women.  Is it not ‘equal’ to allow him the space to defend men’s rights?

In the case of Kate Smurthwaite – she would have done her ‘sisters’ a far more better service if she had laughed off the comments from Peter Lloyd or better still retorted with a better quip, but no, she fell hook, line and sinker into his net.  In Kate’s defense, hindsight is a wonderful thing, and she was no doubt totally wound up by the subject at hand and too focused on getting her point across to notice that he was mickey-taking.  By the way, it’s perfectly fine to be offended; nothing bad will happen to you.  If you are offended, say so, but don’t use it as a weapon, please! But I will say this to Kate – your time and obvious energy are wasted on such trivial, irrelevant topics. You are playing ‘victim hood‘ when you should be campaigning and celebrating equality.  Do we not call men names at times?

Unfortunately, I see such damage to other women from the pursuits of feminine activists.

The air is now sterile and cold.  Men afraid to even speak to the opposite sex for fear of retribution.  Yes, the opposite sex.  We are opposites.  We may be equal in some ways but we are opposites.  Men and women ‘think’ differently.  Men and women ‘feel’ differently.  Men and women ‘walk’ differently.  Men and women ‘dress’ differently.

Feminists today have become nothing more than a ‘hate group’ and you are portraying all women as ‘victims’, and not the strong, equal sex you want them to be.  The historical feminine activists’ perseverance and courage were all in vain!  A ‘woman’ died for us so that we could have the vote!  We have gained so much; the vote, equal pay, recognition, a voice, yet you now portray us as ‘whinging, pathetic fools; haters of men’ with your constant whining of irrelevant issues.  I am not a victim, I am a woman, happy in her skin.

Victim, victim, victim.  Hater of men.  

What if a ‘male actor’ had wished our ‘female Prime Minister’ dead as Miriam Margolyes, the actress, or should I say ‘actor’, said recently about Boris Johnson?  Actor – another word, feminists have to take from men, because ‘actress’ was not good enough.
Feminists would have been in an uproar! Shouting Sexist! rather than condemning her for the distasteful, abhorrent words she spouted.  It says more about her as a human being than her subject.

What is wrong with the word and description ‘woman’?  Comedienne, actress, defining us as women in our own right! – Just because some rumoured the word ‘actress’ to be prostitutes or sexually promiscuous.  By calling yourself ‘actor’ doesn’t make you ‘equal’, but calling yourself ‘actress’ defines you as a woman, in your own right, surely?  Are we standing for all women or are we trying to turn into men?

Be proud to be different, to be able to stand out from the crowd and say I am a woman, and I am here today because of my hard work, brain, etc. NOT because I am a woman.
Society, life, comes in two halves.  The animal kingdom comes in two halves. Male and female. We want and believe to be ‘equal’ partners.  Let’s celebrate and improve not cry at every remark.  ‘I’m a victim‘ lessens your argument and campaign.

Have you ever thought the reason why some establishments/companies have no women directors is because they are just not good enough?  Stop criticising and whinging, we can and should be better than this.

Thanks to feminists and activists, I was stopped trying to take my disabled son into a well known department store changing room.  Today, most are cubicles, so I chose the disabled one, for his sake.  We were told to get out, it was against company policy.  Why? Because he was ‘male’.  I asked if he would be allowed in if he were wearing a dress, and the reply was ‘oh, that’s different’.  Can you see the damage you ‘activists’ are doing?
I told her it was against my ‘policy’ to leave him unattended (he would definitely walk off most likely) and that was the only ‘policy’ I was following.

No doubt an answer will be, we live in a ‘male dominated world’, we are suppressed by a ‘male dominated society’!  Victim.  Fight and change it then but stop moaning!

There are many issues, I am sure, that men feel they have, but I learnt (here) that the feminist movement feels that if men and ‘their issues’ were to be addressed, it would deter the conversation from ‘women’s issues’ and would result in no progress.  Yet the movement welcomes men who are ‘pro-feminists’ and also trans people, yet prohibits men who do not fully support all their arguments.   So feminists don’t hate men, they are just a selective movement?

I constantly hear the feminist phrase “we have an inter-sectional approach to feminism and look at how different groups of genders, sexual orientations, races, classes, and more are dominated in our society. Our inclusive approach is a big part of our popularity – i.e. a lot of feminists are also inclusive.”  Inclusive? Really? See above.

If you want to be a good feminist leader, then earn respect from your male counterparts

How we treat men, how we speak to them and how we hold them accountable, will determine to a large extent whether they will accept and respect us as equals.  Then and only then, can we engage with them in a polite, sensible debate and discussion.  Not screaming and running for the tissue box every time they say a word that ‘offends’ you.

Great leaders have to be respected in order to be successful, but earning that respect takes time and effort.  How can any man respect you, your direction, your ideas, when he is constantly bombarded with complaints and accusations?

By constantly whinging and whining with such drivel, such as ‘that was sexist’ will not engage the men to your side, but deter them from conversation.  We must enlighten men to the cause of feminism and align them to the plight, not by criticism or whinging, but rather by good guidance, good direction and a clear, identified common cause.  The sooner the feminists realise that men and women are ‘wired’ differently, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot change nor be the same, the better an inclusive society it will be.

So as ‘feminists’, please continue standing up for women and good causes but stop catapulting your ‘feminist’ voice for the sake of petty arguments, it doesn’t help the cause.  Come on ladies, let’s embrace and celebrate being a Woman and recognise that we share this planet with an opposite sex, men. – they have their uses, you know!